SONG KERNELS, PROMPTS!!!!

Broken this fragile thing now, and I can't pick up the pieces, and i've thrown my words all around and i can't, give you a reason. i feel so broken up and i give up, i won't walk out until you know................
here i come, scream my lungs out and try to get to you, you are my only one, i'll let go but there's just no one that gets me like you do, you are my only one

P.S: You don't know what it's like to love somebody the way I love you!

Can I just digress for a minute……….. I just read this prompt that will have me starting the title of my poem with the words, “Don’t you…. Here’s my first attempt:

DON’T YOU THINK YOU’RE ALONE

Walking under starlight, the heavens smile at me
I smile back in understanding,
It’s a language we get to speak
I stare at the shadows before me
I’m scared I might be falling
Turn the corner in time to see
Not endless night but day,
The streets are filled with strangers
And I’m not alone anymore.

DEAR GOD

I had the opportunity to work with an amazing group of people this weekend, though this weekend was all about work, it was ok and like I said, I did meet some amazing people and learnt a lot. Anywho, I missed writing!!

Dear God….
I thought of you even more today lord. Mostly of how I’ve been ignoring you and forsaken your word for a while. I’ve had it so good lately I’ve pushed my mind to forget how I got here. I’m making a pledge to do my best. Not just to run to you in my times of trouble but even through the good times. Thank you for not forsaking me and reminding me who’s in charge.

P.s I’m so tired, but I can’t close my eyes long enough to sleep! Does that make sense??? My mind is on over drive!

TODAY I’LL SAY GOODBYE

Today I’ll say goodbye to all the things we could have been
All the things we were and all we didn’t get to be.

Today I’ll say goodbye because love shouldn’t hurt like this
And goodbye’s the only word that makes a difference.

Today I’ll say goodbye because life should go on,
Has to go on.

Today I’ll say goodbye to all the promises you made
But never got to keep.

And I will miss you but
Today I have to say goodbye
Coz I care too much, and
Our season is over.
GOODBYE.

ME, LAYING MYSELF BARE, ALMOST 

Trying to find myself as a writer…………. Guess that does have a lot to do with how I want the world to see me… I’m learning that I’m a kinesthetic person, I react more to feelings, always trying to “grasp” for “something concrete” or “get in touch” with things. So most of the time I’ll react to feeling, write about what gets to me, and rant about it till I get it out of my system. But I’m more than one simple word, I’m intense, complex, an over comer, a fighter……………and I want all that to come out from what I put down. (Might as well do some good with all this intensity)!

Honestly I write because I hope I can change someone’s life with my writing, people say when you expose yourself you become a target for everyone and are vulnerable. What’s wrong with being a bit vulnerable I wonder?

So how to save a soul today, from a non expert’s point of view. Meditate. It’s helped me a lot. Pray, we do not have all the answers. Focus on the positives, negativity drugs you down and holds you captive.

TO BE THE BEST

Asking some fundamental questions today. Ever wondered what marks our timing on earth? Have you made any impact on the world? If you could go back to just a few hours, what would you change? When life comes rushing at you, do you have someone who’ll help you face it? Will you face your deepest regret knowing you could have done something to save someone else from drowning? Do your regrets stem from what you didn’t do?

Do some of your choices haunt you? Are you being as real as you ever could be or do other people tell you who you are?

Face your fears bravely, break your own heart if you have to, do not stay in the wrong path or let other people define who you are. Do not lose yourself in the madness, or succumb to the darkness in your soul. Choose to move forward in faith.

Your choices matter. PEACE AND LOVE

MY INQUISITIVE MIND WANTS TO KNOW

Single to some people means all the sex you can have, others translate it to bidding their time till the right person comes along, for others all it spells is loneliness. I struggle to figure out where I fit in………. My single friends thought I’d sold out when I got into a serious relationship, being a serial dater and all, but I feel some things get old after a while, after all some have even gone and gotten married! Talk of selling out! I’m so happy they found love, do not get me wrong, I’m not against marriage.

“Beauty is fleeting, other things are forever.”

Does getting married equal growing up? How do you even equate the two? So if I’m 50 and single, does that make me immature? The world and all its labels! You gotta hate it sometimes! I’m against getting married for validation. It does mark the grand finale of man-searching, but also ushers in at best a partner you can occasionally talk to about children, or how bad you think they’re doing at school…………

Whatever happened to figuring yourself out then finding someone with the same views? Is marriage turning into something you try on to see if it fits? (Shoot me I’m too old fashioned for this generation). Is there anything like the marrying kind? How do I know if I’m one? I’m just trying to aim beyond what I see around me.

P.S. I don’t know what I’ll do if two years from now I’m still single coz the guy I made a pact with is now happily married and totally oblivious of the fact that I even exist! This marriage talk is definitely not over!

A LOVE LIKE THIS

From my bones, straight to my heart,
My love for you fills me.
Hold me in lovers embrace, dispel the fears
That hold me captive inside
From my heart piercing my soul
A love like this can never die.
Timeless reads two lovers clock
That keeps ticking and ticking

How good do you feel when you get to speak to a friend you haven’t talked to in ages? Priceless right? I hope so. Coz I feel so damn good! You know who you are. You’re a queen you are!!! What else can I say? Contented what else can I say? My empty bed beckons! PEACE AND LOVE.

CHANGES

Change is inevitable. Change is good (depending on where you’re standing). If you don’t adapt to change, you get left behind. And I want to jump on that bus of change. They should add that change is so damn scary, and you need someone to hold your hand. What if all you have to lean on is yourself? How do you deal? I love him; I love him, now I’m rumbling in my head!!!!!!! The world is your freakin oyster babe, go on get your pearls.

04-05-09

Life goes off course but I look at you and I know
Who I am.
My choices don’t haunt me; I embrace you my new path
I move forward, never giving up
Solace when I never expected,
My greatest fear I face bravely,
Moving forward faithfully.
I come out from my darkness
You guide me to my light.
Even when life rushes at me from all directions
You are my safe haven.

Some things are meant to last forever.

I DON’T LABEL MYSELF

Funny thing happened to me today; someone I hardly know said I was a snob! In all fairness, rather than lead him on I chose to stay away and for all my efforts I got labeled!!! Just because I can figure out pretty quickly whether I’m interested in someone or not does it mean I should compromise myself for the sake of someone’s ego? Is this what society expects of me? To go out on a date leading nowhere for the sake of peace? Just so someone’s feelings won’t be hurt? Can’t we be a bit selfish when it comes to deciding about matters of the heart?? I am a monogamist, maybe that’s what I should’ve said upfront, would’ve been different if I at least had a chance to get a word in……..I’m pretty up front about the things I want, no sugar coating for me. This Mr. Right now stuff is getting pretty tricky me thinks! Sigh.

That’s why the next time someone wants to add me to his list of conquests I will politely decline, I refuse to be added to a list of people anyone has had the chance to devour. I do things on my terms…. Most of the time! When I was younger I did what kids do, but now that I’m older, I’ve gotten a bit wiser. Is it ok to enjoy the “benefits” a short term affair offers, just for the sake of lust? I’m confused. But not frigid. Just conscious. I believe in love and everything it has to offer, hopeless romantic I am!

HOW DO YOU DEAL????

“The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him and a small situation is made worse and more visible when you try to fix it.”

I’m in a situation where unless I get rid of all the baggage I feel I’m dragging around the more I’ll keep holding myself back so I’ll do everything I need to, to feel at peace again. I said I wasn’t going to apologize for the way I live my life anymore so whatever makes me happy goes!! How do you deal with your issues??
Still hustling to get out of bed in the morning FOR WORK OUT………… gotta keep at it. I’m working on totally different pieces of poetry; I’ll post some ideas soon, see if I get a reaction. Pray for me, I’ll pray for you, we all need to survive. PEACE

MR RIGHT NOW,

The wedding turned out to be interesting, but the thing that gave me the most pleasure was getting to hang out with my grandma who I hardly ever see. Interesting men are really hard to find, where can I find a great guy for some good conversation with no strings attached? I’m open to any suggestions……….. Any who, I still have a chance to impress for this other wedding I’m attending pretty soon. Everyone around me’s getting married!! What to do??? I’ll bid my time till the right guy comes along no biggie. Wouldn’t mind a Mr. right now though, if anyone catches my drift.
Tomorrow I’m starting this workout routine that involves me getting up earlier than usual… I have to though coz I have to stay in shape and right now I feel like I’m just carrying around this huge weight. Back to matters of interesting poetry, I’m currently working on this piece.

MY HEART

Cut too deeply for you pieces of my heart
This thin line I walk too scared coz I might lose you
I know I’ve lost you
In my head resigned, whisper that message
To my heart
For you my lungs and all my vital organs
For you this emptiness I feel
Tomorrow comes and with it a new dawn
Tomorrow brings with it too many memories
My lover ran away with my heart.