"Raised To Life" - LIVE

"Give Me Faith" - ELEVATION WORSHIP

"Greater" - ELEVATION WORSHIP

MY SELFISH HEART

But I don't wanna waste your time

No, you deserve to find the love of your life

One day you'll marry such a lovely wife

And hopefully we'll be fine!

Baby let's keep in touch... oh

'Cause I'm not what you need

But I'm a miss you so much

I'm too focused on this dream,

Your kiss is a drug that pulls me back so quick

Until I pull us apart, well forgive my selfish heart

THE FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST

I thought I'd so aptly name this post, then continue sending you mixed messages. This is my escape, and I'll let sanctus real help me explain..... :-) I wanna finish the life we started I wanna be two old beautiful souls that stayed with it And in those times our feelings fade I'm gonna give you the one thing That makes all the difference Commitment So how late are this words in coming? The one thing I can give you, but which you have none of to give... No matter what you say. This is us, trying to fix what's broken. BAND AID LOVE

I BET

I bet you start loving me
Soon as I start loving someone else
Somebody better than you
I bet you start needing me
Soon as you see me with someone else
Somebody other than you
And I know that it hurts
You know that it hurts your pride
But you thought the grass was greener on the other side
I bet you start loving me
Soon as I start loving someone else
Somebody better than you- Ciara

FROM MY HEART

"Yeah, I'll let you set the pace

Cause I'm not thinking straight

My head spinning around I can't see clear no more

What are you waiting for"







Is this what you wanted me to say yesterday? I have no more pieces of me to give, there's nothing left for you to take.... Don't cause me anymore pain.

DETACHED THEN REATTACHED

I had never really fully understood that pain can be positive. All I believed in was that moment. The feelings that were choking me and the pain that was slowly killing me. Now I'm realizing how thankful some people have made me throughout the years. Whatever was meant to be will be. Que sera, sera (oh snap, do you see how this just fell into place!!!) I may have been broken, but the same demons are now helping me pick up the pieces. How cool is that? Good people turn bad. But my party still continues. The people who leave, ALWAYS come back.

A WHOLE POST DEDICATED TO ME, YAAAAASSSS!!!

You have to check this out on https://littlesultrymimi.wordpress.com/2015/06/10/hello-answering-zhanes-questions-about-hair/ a whole post dedicated to yours truly!! Honey, that you read this is so precious to me, you get to be inside my thoughts for a minute and I love the thought of that. Remember this is a purging, a million different stories, begging to be told as they war in my head. They beg to be heard, not necessarily liked. We thank you for your time. Stick around.

HEART MATTERS

I know I should be sad right now, I know the situation calls for tears. I refuse to cry for you though, I won't shed a tear. Partings are good for me, meanness is not. We tolerated each other too long now, it was time to blow the whistle. I whistle. Have to wish each other well now, now I couldn't care less. You can't make me have any more feeling toward you, what I felt is dead. As usual, the party's in my head, see you when you can break my thoughts free. PS. This isn't about you :-)

INSPIRED

I love this title I saw from a fellow blogger, "LOVING YOU IS WHAT I'M GOOD AT." To the cynics let me explain. She doesn't wake up or spend her days in this utopia of not doing anything, just loving this said person. Hell to the no. It simply means that loving this person makes her feel good about life, about herself, inspires her, and makes her feel like the world in all its wrongness, is right. Sorry if this makes no sense.... It's exactly how I feel about him. Inspired. What about the times we were apart? And we're not exactly together now, physically at least so how does this love inspire me? Its a feeling, a knowing and this sums it all up. "Sometimes I wish for older things, for things of days gone by. I long to hold a human hand, rather than a cellphone. I want a scrawling, handwritten letter stamped with a kiss, instead of a good morning text. Sometimes I desire to be living in the moment, without the itch of expectation, without the shadow of technology." Because that's what we're about now. TECHNOLOGY.

MOOD

So world, I've been thinking/ wondering so much about this post. What to share, what not to share, because I want to be selfish and only enjoy him for me. You wonder why I post the bad/ sad stuff? it's a purging. I need to cleanse myself so that only good will reign.

I'm so happy right now. So much so, I don't want the universe to know it might take it away. I told him there's no right or wrong between us. Our story isn't for anybody else, for no one to understand and analyze. Just the two of us. Him and me. If you know your soul mate, you know what I'm talking about. I'll try and not live in my head so much. Alas the world can be an interesting place! You don't get to see me everyday so, this one's for you. I heart you.

ON MY READING LIST

So I'm reading all these fashion blogs, and loving most. Peep some on my reading list, I hope you won't be disappointed. I started getting these crazy ideas that maybe I should be doing fashion/ beauty posts but I'd never be up to par because first, I keep my make up simple thanks to my super oily face. I can't even use most products recommended on blogs coz I'd get the worst break outs *sob* My make up bag contains lipstick, foundation, concealer and perfume, these are the essentials.

Instead of a beauty routine I'll share my passion which is photography....

What I'm wearing and such. Don't wait for branded labels, I'm not that kinda shopper, I'm a bargain shopper *don't judge me*

All I'm saying is, you get to see me in my natural environment :-) I'm a bit selfie obsessed at the moment. Again, please don't judge me.

Enjoy!!!

FEELING INSPIRED

"I can tell about the times you know When I wished to leave this world I can read to you the letters I wrote All the words you say you've never heard"- Lene Marlin I'm writing to you because I love you.... When you said you had to leave I wish you hadn't gone away With your love Helpless have no one to turn to Disciple of tough love Hello solitude I want to stay exactly where I am In love I'd come come for you But I don't want to be a beggar For your love.

Sally Shapiro - He Keeps Me Alive ( This one's for you Baby)

DEEP

So I've decided in the next couple of posts till I decide otherwise, I'll share with you letters/ poems I wrote during those days I choose to call dark days until I stopped writing anymore....

Cut too deeply for you pieces of my heart. This thin line I walk, too scared I might lose you. I know I've lost you. In my head resigned, whisper That message to my heart. For you my lungs And all my vital organs. For you this emptiness I feel Tomorrow comes and with it A new dawn. Tomorrow brings with it Too many memories My lover ran away with my heart.

Ommy Dimpoz Ft Vanessa Mdee - Me and You ( Official Video )

HERE, COZ I'M HERE

I just thought I'd leave this here, to show that I'm alive? still breathing? Still have thoughts? I don't know. I just want you to know that I'm back. My greatest inspiration rolled/ slowly made his way back to my life. I am fine. We are fine. And we're talking. Life is beautiful. I'm peachy :-)