MEETING AN EX

I’ve been having a series of really weird dreams lately, so I guess it was only natural that the climax would have me meeting my ex, this time only not in my dreams......... you plan and re-plan for such a day such that when it finally comes you hope you won’t be as flat footed as I was, but no!!!! First thing that came to my mind was me wishing I’d given in to my sixth sense and worn my heels! Maybe for the false sense of confidence I felt they would’ve given me, but any who............
Back to matters of the conversation, there he was asking how I’d been and he was expecting me to announce my happy marriage and kids waiting for me at home! How could I tell him that the guy I broke up with him for wasn’t a part of my life anymore? Like somehow by admitting that I’d be admitting my failure and how wrong I was to leave him...........
My head seemed to have found a life of its own, where my mouth failed me and there I was nodding and shaking to every question, leaving no doubt in his mind how uncomfortable I really was. Then he had to go and bring up the break up! And just in time I found my freedom of speech again. “Please don’t.”
Was I supposed to stand there like I was on trial just coz I followed my heart?
In hind sight I don’t really regret the break up, there are things I would’ve done different but he’s not the guy I go to bed dreaming of as my husband so the break up wasn’t a mistake, being caught off guard was! Now that I’m cool and collected my response to his question, “what’s new?” would have been: On the outside my life hasn’t changed much, all the change has been going on within. I’m more focused on pleasing myself, finding pleasure in the simple things in life, not over thinking situations just taking steps of faith, but most importantly being happy by myself instead of giving up that freedom to someone else.
I’ve learnt that most times we expect so much from our partners that when they fall short, we fall apart instead of learning to be happy no matter our circumstances. If you’re in a relationship, love yourself then love your partner. If you’re hoping to meet someone, be open to receiving love. PEACE AND LOVE