DETACHED THEN REATTACHED

I had never really fully understood that pain can be positive. All I believed in was that moment. The feelings that were choking me and the pain that was slowly killing me. Now I'm realizing how thankful some people have made me throughout the years. Whatever was meant to be will be. Que sera, sera (oh snap, do you see how this just fell into place!!!) I may have been broken, but the same demons are now helping me pick up the pieces. How cool is that? Good people turn bad. But my party still continues. The people who leave, ALWAYS come back.

HERE, COZ I'M HERE

I just thought I'd leave this here, to show that I'm alive? still breathing? Still have thoughts? I don't know. I just want you to know that I'm back. My greatest inspiration rolled/ slowly made his way back to my life. I am fine. We are fine. And we're talking. Life is beautiful. I'm peachy :-)

KILLING ME SOFTLY

I was so mean to him yesterday. I wanted him to explain some things and I wasn’t getting convinced so I turned mean and felt terrible afterwards. I don’t want us to go back to that place of not talking but we keep dancing around the most important issue and I don’t know what else to do or say. My words are turning meaningless.
I’m now convinced that the most dangerous people are those who love you but kill you slowly inside. With promises they never get to keep or keeping hope alive even when you should have gone off it years ago. When did a little faith ever harm anyone? You wonder. Never faith is harmless, but you can’t control anyone else’s free will. PERIOD. Believe as long as your belief system does not border on insanity. That’s all I’m saying.
My belief system has totally been battered up. Love does not conquer all. Ask me and I’ll tell you. I do believe however that in some random, rare occasions people can surprise you or even shock the hell out of you. So I’m waiting on his.
I’m a question to be answered and I hope his answer’s ‘YOU’

CHANGES

Change is inevitable. Change is good (depending on where you’re standing). If you don’t adapt to change, you get left behind. And I want to jump on that bus of change. They should add that change is so damn scary, and you need someone to hold your hand. What if all you have to lean on is yourself? How do you deal? I love him; I love him, now I’m rumbling in my head!!!!!!! The world is your freakin oyster babe, go on get your pearls.

04-05-09

Life goes off course but I look at you and I know
Who I am.
My choices don’t haunt me; I embrace you my new path
I move forward, never giving up
Solace when I never expected,
My greatest fear I face bravely,
Moving forward faithfully.
I come out from my darkness
You guide me to my light.
Even when life rushes at me from all directions
You are my safe haven.

Some things are meant to last forever.